Ehhh, I Didn't Miss Much...

So, to my great chagrin, I was unable to catch tonight's episode of American Idol live, due to a prior obligation, also known as my business ethics class. I strongly considered bypassing said class to provide the blogging duties I know everyone is depending on, despite your lack of commenting, but then I would have to live a life bereft of any ethics or sense of moral obligation, so, alas, I went to class. Also, we had a term paper due. I wrote all 7 glorious pages of it in slightly over an hour. I don't think that's unethical, merely unwise. Not to worry, however, I quoted Ben Franklin, so an A is all but assured.

Anyway. The point of all that was to explain that my viewing of American Idol tonight took place mainly over uploaded Youtube videos as I do not have DVR, because Comcast is an evil empire that demanded I give them too much money for such services. A pox upon their house. I think I saw most everything, but there's no telling. Let me know if I missed something, but from the videos I saw, I didn't feel I missed much. People got in groups, they fought with each other, they forgot lyrics, they arranged awful choreography, Ryan Seacrest always does creepy voiceovers in corners... pretty pro forma group round. There wasn't a single performance that made me sit up and take note. Nothing like that White Chocolate group last year. That was cool.

So, recap. Well, some group of girls sang "Irreplaceable." They were pretty good, though if those count as harmonies, I need to go get my ears recalibrated. Pretty shaky. That Ashley girl from the Boston auditions who looks like Jordin Sparks is back. I sense we'll see more of her. I'm not sure if that's a good thing yet.

Then another group went with some Motown (thumbs up), but sang "Get Ready" terribly (thumbs down). I still think Michael Lynch looks crazy big on stage. Also, you know that dude's going far. They sent a freakin' camera crew to his child's birth. Lots of early camera exposure = free pass through the first two weeks of semi-finals, even if you come on stage and snort like a mule. Oh yeah, and Tim Urban still doesn't sound good when he sings. Also, naming your group Team Awesome is atrocious.

All the "Bad Romance" drama and posturing was a waste of time, especially considering neither group sounded good.

Whoever sang Styx was also not good. I'm going to agree with Simon, who told this group that learning to sing a song in 12 hours does not equate going through a lot. Although, if this equals an epic struggle in Idol land, it goes a long way toward explaining why everyone has "been through so much" in their lives. In that case, so have I. Hell, in that case, I've been through a lot today!

The group singing "Closer" with shirtless guy (Casey James I think?) and one of the guitar blondes was one of the better groups, though those harmonies were also a little spotty. Everyone in that group seems likely to be heard from again though.

The group that had Andrew Garcia and Katie Stevens and other expendable people receives an automatic 4 demerits for calling themselves Three Men and a Baby. The vaguely uncomfortable sensation this created completely unsettled the pizza cookie Mark forced me to buy and subsequently consume via phone peer pressure. Also, I'm almost certain Andrew Garcia and Katie Stevens will prove to be the two anointed ones this season, aka the contestants the producers have already decided should make it to the very end. How do I know? Well, there are the subtle clues, like the fact that Andrew has been on the screen for the maximum possible time the producers could squeeze him in. I'm surprised they didn't air his audition twice. And I have visions of them dragging him around Hollywood Week, trying to ensure he appears in the background of as many shots as possible. To determine Katie was a frontrunner I had to dig a little deeper, such as listening to Kara declare she could win the whole damn thing. Well hell Kara, gives her some P.O.S. song about unicorns and rainbows and we can just go home already! Problem solved. They should hire me. Anyway. I hate being a follower, so let me be the one who first posits the fact that we may all have to jump on the Andrew & Katie backlash bandwagon around spring break time. Early bird special on tickets now!

Oh yeah, at least their singing was good. More than could be said for the group that sang Fleetwood Mac's "Dreams." Incidentally, there appears to have been a recent rash of musical hate crimes perpetuated against Stevie Nicks and harmonizing, as this group joined Taylor Swift (Grammys Edition) in launching their best blow against Stevie's contributions to the Fleetwood Mac catalogue. Let Stevie be, people! That whole performance was heinous.

So, this round was pretty pointless, in my opinion. They barely cut anyone, leading me to believe this was mainly an excuse to conjure up some drama for the cameras. Apparently this was a failure, as nothing that interesting appeared on my TV (or Youtube videos, same thing). Where was my dread-head friend Crystal Bowersox, though? And whatever happened to that blonde girl I liked from Chicago? I think she had some backstory that I found awkward, though that won't help anyone differentiate her, I know... perhaps she was from the Des Moines area? One of my many adopted places of residence, so I should probably support her.

Last but not least, does any one else find the occupations each contestant lists to oftentimes be the most amusing part of the show? I mean, today one person was a telecommunications college student. What is that? I mean, that's less academic sounding than my major, and I'm music business. Or the kid who had "recent high school graduate." This was filmed in January, dude! You graduated approximately 8 months ago! The sandwich maker is still my favorite though. You go, sandwich maker.

Well, that's it for this week. But next Tuesday we have 2 full hours. Yikes. And then the chair episode, which I quite happily will get to miss to go reflect on my business ethics. In the meantime, I would love to hear someone else's opinions, as well, to entertain me in my f*cking freezing apartment. Do I have to censor myself on my own blog? Hmmm...