To save some time, I will get straight to the point, and say that I thought all the people who were cut deserved to be. With that said - Vanessa Wolfe, the straight up country girl from Tennessee, almost broke my icicle encrusted heart when she was cut. You knew with her lack of experience and polish that this simply wasn't going to happen for her, but I found the double whammy of her "This was my one chance to get out" and "I blew it. Sorry Mom." comments to be far more affecting than any sob story video package I've been subjected to this year. Sorry, Vanessa, but good luck - surely you can find another way out. You didn't want to sell your soul to 19 Entertainment anyway.
So, to the people who most likely will be gracing our TV screens until the annual confetti shower in late May, conveniently grouped as per my (highly credible) opinion:
Yeah, if you make it through I'm probably going to be really annoyed with you every week:
- Haeley Vaughn, who appears to be planning to fulfill every tween girl's dream by being the next Taylor Swift. In fact, she sang a Taylor Swift song, and played a T3 (a type of guitar favored by, surprise, Taylor Swift)! Unfortunately, though probably a better vocalist than T. Swift, she suffered from similar moments of pitchiness, which were completely overlooked by the judges, who commented on her charisma and such. Then she followed it up by emitting a tiny giggle at the end of her performance, assuring me she will be the annoying sort of teenaged contestant. Warning flags, all around.
- I also didn't much care for Tim Urban, who was whiny and off-pitch. Sorry Kara, he's not gonna cut it.
Your judgment is highly dubious, but your singing is intriguing enough I may forgive you:
- Katie Stevens, someone who managed to be 17 and not annoying, performing a tricky Stevie Wonder song with verve, confidence, and a rich vocal tone. Frankly, if she was 3 years older I wouldn't have put her in this category, but teens with backstories are automatically flagged in my Idol Security System (as per the pet peeves post yesterday).
- Mike Lynche, who's wife is currently having their first child while he's auditioning in Hollywood, and who, if successful, will spend the first 8 months of his child's life away from said child. Now, this doesn't really personally bother me - his life is his business - but it was enough for a head shake and chuckle. His version of John Mayer's "Waiting on the World to Change" was quite good, and that acoustic guitar looked absolutely miniscule in his hands. But Mike, you better hope this Idol thing works out pretty well for you, or you just handed your eldest some powerful material for therapy sessions about 20 years from now.
- Casey James, aka the boy who took his shirt off in the auditions to Kara's great pleasure. Which is my primary problem with said gentleman - if a female contestant had acted in a similar manner it would be considered, hmm, what's the word? Oh yes. Slutty. But, in this case abandoning all sense of standards may be his gift to all of us! (I never thought I would type that sentence). His bluesy singing and nimble guitar playing impressed me a lot, and I would definitely be interested in hearing more.
- Didi Benami, who went to the ultimate kiss-ass maneuver and decided to audition with a song Kara wrote. Lame, Didi, quite lame, particularly because this song has some line about rainbows, at which point my brain overloaded and I could not comprehend another lyric. But, despite this egregious brown-nosing, Didi actually displayed some competent guitar playing and a very good voice, meaning she has a chance to pull herself out of the hole she dug with me. One more Kara DioGuardi penned number, however, and she ain't coming out.
People I like, though I reserved the right to retract that in two weeks and declare them the most aggravating contestant since Taylor Hicks:
- Andrew Garcia, who's re-arrangement of Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" I found quite good, and who has a very good voice as well. I get this sense, though, that he is the producer's chosen male contestant for this season, and that always makes me a little nervous. I hate when the producers determine what contestants should make the finale for me.
- Janell Wheeler, who also had a very cool re-arrangement, taking Estelle's R&B "American Boy" and turning it into a singer-songwriter song. I liked her voice, and smirked at hearing her "Don't like his baggy jeans, but I might like what's underneath." It appears that lyrics that may cause the grandmas to grab their remotes in horror are a better way to earn my affection than lyrics about rainbows. Although that should probably have been obvious.
- Lilly Scott, who has a hell of a lot of self-confidence for a 20-year-old sandwich maker, and whose arrangement of an Ella Fitzgerald song displayed some good, unique vocal chops.
And, finally, probably my favorite, Crystal Bowersox, who has two things going for her beyond her powerful voice. First, she has a badass name. Second, she appears to be currently growing out dreadlocks, in a manner that is quite tasteful. This refers back to my Christina Aguilera theory: I've always said, no matter what, I will respect Christina Aguilera, because she managed to emerge from an ass-less chaps phase with more than a modicum of class and dignity. Like growing out dreadlocks, this is no easy feat. So for that alone, Ms. Bowersox, you have my respect. Also, she made me sit up and listen to a song I've heard approximately 7 bazillion times (to use a Randy-esque) number.
So, parting thoughts:
1) The producers/judges/etc have apparently decided that acoustic guitar playing blondes are what America needs, and so it shall be! It should be interesting to see which ones make it through, and if I can tell them all apart.
2) I thought the segments of Ellen's judging we saw today were insightful and coherent, which makes me hopeful that we may reach 50% usefulness on the judging panel this year. Oh, dreams.
3) Tomorrow is the group rounds, and if they spend all their time showing people crying in the hallways, Season 9 will quickly cause me to lose all the happy optimism I have displayed tonight.
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